Jag har nästan inga ord att uttrycka mig för hur underbar den här helgen har varit. I visited my future home today and it’s pretty close to perfect. It’s a room in a house with a Swedish mom who is a Swedish teacher and studied/worked with graphic design in London for a bit. She has a 4yr old son who wasn’t there unfortunately. There are two other students that live there, one German and one Swedish. Anna the German takes my same class at komvux. The house is quiet, happy and relaxed. There were ok with the idea of me having friends over every now and then for dinner or fika. That was important to me. I’m an adult and while I understand I should be respectful I would like to have friends over now and again. I’ll respect the fact it isn’t my house of course. When we met we spoke Swedish the entire time. It didn’t feel weird or bizarre at all. I opened up to the mom about some feelings I’ve had inside of me about being American here. It was nice.
Here are some pics.
Mats and I made some important ties and goodbyes today. We stopped by komvux and he got to see the place where I have spent so much time the past two years. He’s seen it only once before. So strange. We made the most wonderful dinner together. We were relaxed and happy the entire day. We kept to Swedish as our language today with a few here or there English phrases. Wow. So great. I guess it feels like we know we are making the right decision. A little confusing. But still we both feel certain it’s for the best.
Goodbye beautiful weekend. Hello new workweek! :) the steps that bring me closer to my goals in life. :)
Kurt Vonnegut, I want you to know that I was happy today and I took the time to recognize that to myself. If this isn’t nice then I don’t know what is. :)
Princess Victoria offers her father, King Carl XVI Gustaf some Christmas sweets [December 1979]
Whoa I’ve never seen a private photo like this of King Carl-Gustaf. Makes me like him a bit more :)
Tanuki the Tipsy Trickster: Why a Well-Endowed Raccoon Dog Is Big in Japan
The signs and symbols of Japan can be disorientating, as Western signage such as the striped barber’s pole and the green/red man of traffic lights is blended with more traditional symbols, such as the hanging drapes that indicate onsen (traditional baths), the red-caped kitsune (fox-gods), and jizo (statues of dead children, dressed to stay warm against the cold of the grave.)
One of the more curious symbols is the tanuki, a raccoon dog that represents a traditional Japanese prankster god. The tanuki is known in the West best from Super Mario Brothers 3, which features a tanuki suit that allows Mario to change form into a statue and to fly, as well as from the Studio Ghibli film Pom Poko, which is about a gang of tanuki (although in the English language version of the film they were misrepresented as badgers.)
The tanuki has a mixed reputation in Japan. Statues of the full-bellied (and large-testicled) tanuki can be found throughout Japan, even if pollution and urban sprawl have taken their toll on the actual animal after which the trickstertakes its name and form. The tanuki is a shape-shifter, and his testicles play an important role in his shifting. Tanukis have legendarily been known to use their testicles as makeshift raincoats, as weapons, and as drums. They knead and massage them into the shape they desire, and often impersonate humans to buy alcohol and delicacies, which is where the tanuki fits into modern Japanese culture.
What?! Racoons with large testicles are basically tomte or Loki? Or leprechauns? Weiiiiiiiird.
Have only seen something like this in Sweden. That same wind that blows in the fjäll. Ah!
I really wanted this but it wasn’t an option:
So I started rooting for what I would most likely dance around to and enjoy:
I could even be convinced that this was an interesting choice to send to Eurovision despite a bratty unwashed feel:
But I never expected something so freaking PEDANTIC as this! Sanna your song is nice but it will not get noticed in Copenhagen.
I’m glad I spent it with you! The weather outside is completely perfect. It’s almost like it skipped spring and went right to summer. Mats and I started the day by eating pancakes and talking a lot. I emailed a bunch of people and caught up with folks. Also checked out another housing situation and made plans to meet up with the lady tomorrow. Then we decided to go to the pharmacy and then downtown to run some errands. It was international women’s day and Vänsterpartiet was out on the town square. We took our falafel and sat and watched the gathering. It was really fun; we even danced a bit to the spice girls song.
We ran into a lot of people we knew. Mats saw his favorite professor from architecture school. I saw a librarian from komvux who said hey to me which made me feel warm and happy that she recognized me. I saw a girl named stefanie and her sambo Oskar. We said hello and then I invited them to take falafel with us. They said they couldn’t right then but maybe next time. It was a little strange because it was a couple meeting and mats and I looked and acted still very much like a couple but…. we aren’t. It felt a bit odd but what would we have said?
There were moments where our little arguments would come out again. I felt stressed by mats saying we needed to go to the park but I also had to drink my coffee before we could bike anywhere. He didn’t understand that since he doesn’t drink coffee or whatever. There were a couple of times we snapped at each other, but we were having such a good time and knew this is one of the last and best weekends we have had in awhile. Might as well make it great right?
Also bob hund is having a huge night at the Malmö opera in the fall and I am STOKED. I’m trying to put together a group to go see them :) I fucking LOVE bob hund and have ever since I saw them at hultsfred so long ago. Karin’s cousin Sofie might come down for it and I think it would be nice to see her again. She’s always super much fun. I’m not sure if Karin can come because of little cute Kasper but I hope so. Man får se.
Otherwise…i dont think at all about the temptations (that were never real anyway) now. It’s more like uh, what was I thinking. Life seems simpler, easier, and more….real now. I’ve been taking Kim’s good advice about telling people when the moment feels right and kind of letting it slide if it doesn’t. The people I have told about mats and I breaking up have been super understanding and supportive. We haven’t gotten around to everyone yet because we are still a bit confused about the whole thing. It feels right to do but then we have super great days like today. However I must say, It feels unreal and amazing to know I have such good friends. Thank you! It’s a big part of the reason I don’t and can’t leave Sweden/Lund.
It feels a bit odd and weird. I still don’t really feel I know what I am doing. I feel rather silly letting Matss buy some of the things I need for the business if I move out. He said it was because it’s Women’s Day and it makes a hell of a lot more sense to buy that for me than some flowerss or something. But does it? I don’t know. I do know that I am grateful but that’s also part of the reason I would like to break up. I need to feel responsible for myself. I need to be able to support myself or fail trying, it gives me goals to better myself.
It’s weird. Since breaking up (which also happened mostly in Swedish…) we have been speaking mostly Swedish to each other. It’s like he can see I can do that now and it was something I was missing from him. So strange. I still love him but I know the pain we have caused each other and what irritates me beyond belief. I know there’s things I do that irritate him beyond belief.
Ughhhhh….why does this have to be so hard and confusing?
This little Twiggy is full of hope ju. :) And so freaking surprised about the possibilities that are out there!
Forcing myself to only listen to music that makes me smile.
Another favorite word in English. I have this faint memory that other than being the British proper term for UTTER BULLSHIT that it is also a meal that one can have. THIS idea is hilarious. To serve someone up a dish of tripe? Oh lordy, the possibilities are endless. No more coffee for me today.
If you say an equation is “to the second power” or “multiplied by itself” in Swedish does it become “till den andra makten”? That would make my
day life. Why? Because I can imagine some Swedish disco schlager star saying he’s “taking it till den andra makten nu”. No more coffee for me today.